Sometimes i don't do strangers and crowds well. Tonight was one of those nights. When the crowd is a random mix and i don't know what the connecting points might be, i don't figure those out quickly and i feel awkward. i don't feel sincere. i'm better in groups of people that are like me. it's easier, of course. (see "things i wish i'd do better" on the left sidebar)
noisy places make it tougher for me to do crowds. my hearing isn't so great in noisy places after 15 years of teaching large and loud band classes in small spaces. my voice is low pitched so i feel like i have to shout to be heard; AND, when everyone is standing, i'm literally shoulders and a head above the rest of the crowd. i have a hard time hearing the conversations.
i don't feel very interesting around interesting people. i'm bummed cause i wanted to talk with the interesting people. new people. different people. people that don't feel like they have to be nice but that are still kind. (you all did look really cool and interesting, btw.)
i really like getting in fun conversations about little things or deep conversations about important things but mostly fun deep and important things.
well, that's my thing. sometimes i deal with it. sometimes i don't. not so much tonight.
i think i might have a better chance if there's a future area tweetup that's outdoors or in a place i can hear better. and everyone is like me. and they'll all be quiet so i can talk.
i did really enjoy going downtown/uptown/around town/through the city. i like the atmosphere. i want to get down there on my bike and ride all over the place. be all urban and stuff and junk.
And to the lady that "lost $10 for her bus ticket back to Oklahoma" - good luck. i hope you make it wherever you're headed. Sorry i didn't feel right helping you. i must say that it was smart of to buy all those groceries you were carrying so you'd have stuff to eat on the bus. ;-)
